Helping your Hubby bond with your baby

When a woman is pregnant there is this automatic love or Storge love that we talked about earlier. It is the love that comes automatic for an expectant mom. This type of love doesn't come easier for men and here I will discuss a couple of things that a woman can do to help her husband start creating a bond with the unborn child.

Involve husband from he beginning of the pregnancy. Have him touch your belly and encourage him to talk to the baby as he touches the belly.
Appointments-Make sure that your husband goes to your Dr. Appointments or to parenting classes. The more he hears about the baby and is able to see the baby through the ultrasound the more likely it will seem real to him. For most men when they are able to hear the heart beat of the baby reality hits them.
Preparation-Let your husband help you in preparing for the baby by buying things the baby needs together, decorating the nursery, reading parenting books together.

FOR THE DELIVERY make sure your husband is the one at your side. Let him experience the special moment of you delivering your baby with him. This will bring a great bond between you, him and the baby. Teach him how he can help in the delivery and discuss what you would like him to do.

PARENTING :D

This is a picture of my beautiful mother.

What is parenting? What do parents learn from parenting?What is the purpose of parenting?
The purpose of parenting is to protect their children and to prepare them to survive in the world they will live in.To guide and direct God's children. To build good people in society and responsible citizens. Parenting also helps us pass down traditions, beliefs, ordinances, that will bless future generations. I believe that parenting is teaching correct principles or God's laws, commandments, and love. Parenting purify and refines our character. It teaches us to become more like God because we learn to love unconditionally. It also teaches us to be humble, patient, and long suffering. I know that my mother's greatest joy is her children and that she can't think of anything more important than her children.

DATING!!!

“Love one another. Love yourself. Then love will find you whole not half.”
― K. Taylor

Propinquity- means that we date peple who are similar and familiar to us

• we date people we feel we look like or are a reflection or are alike us
• The more similar a couple is the less likely they will have conflict
• Intentional thoughtful dating is key to knowing someone
• Sometimes sharing makes us feel like we know someone but remember that is not necesarily true

Tips for MUTUAL DISCLOSURE

1. TALK- Know Mutual Disclosure-make sure that both parties are opening up at the same time and at the same level
2. TIME-Anything less than three months of dating probably don't that wise. It's hard to know someone when you have only dated them less than three months
3. TOGETHERNESS- Remember to have a variety of situations which will help you determine what type of person you are dating and how they will be when you get married

Learning something about people is not passive we must ACT.

I can't help but fall in love with you!!! la la la

AGAPE- Religious love, God's love. This type of Love is independent of one's feelings. Selfless love unconditional for good will. We choose to love this way.

EROS-Sexual love but it is not always about sex. This type of love is romantic.

STORGE- Love between parents and children. This type of love, loves no matter what. This love comes naturally it is automatic. Instinct love it is a type of bond and it's least discriminating love.

PHILLIA- Friendly brotherly love.

In a marriage and in any type of relationship it is important to have all of these types of love for your significant other because they make true love. You need to have a religious type of love for your spouse a love that moves you to want to be selfless towards them. With a willingness to strive to have unconditional love to do good to them. Look at your spouse and try to love them as God would love them. Yes, be romantic love for your spouse and give them kisses and let them know how in love you are with their good looks. Be like a parent to your spouse love no matter what and have your love come naturally and make it automatic. Children disappoint, frustrate, make mistakes, and annoy their parents at times. Yet, their parents love them unconditionally and have a bond and are least discriminating be this type of lover. Don't forget Philia to have a friendly and brotherly kind of love to for the person you choose to love forever.

Good Things to remember

Always show your children how much you and your spouse love them and love each other. Try to express affections for each other daily. We really don't know how long we are alloted to live here on earth and how long we will have our loved ones.

Always go no dates with the spouse and try to do activities that will strengthen each others faith.

Don't let your spouse blame themselves and don't be too hard on them. Talk to each other and be attentive.

Remember behaviors have consequences.

Somtimes bad outcomes or trials in our lives can be a blessing in our lives and help us become better. A crisis can be a blessing, because it all depends on how we react to our feelings.

Communication

We live in a world where we communicate in many forms like texting, body language, Facebook, tweeter, e-mail, youtube, and the list can go on. As the human race we feel a necessity or have the desire to communicate what we are thinking, feeling, and wanting. A great deal of communication has to do with body language, tone, and words. We must recognize that we all have a different culture even if we are all Americans each family unit and person has their own individual culture. We must try to master and be successful in reading each others language especially the language of our spouse and family. Static Noise- is noise what makes anything for us not to hear the message. We must be aware of the static noise in our relationships and remember to pick our battle wisely and don't complain. I really like these words of wisdom. "You can communicate everything but don't communicate everything" Dr. Michael Williams I think part of being able to communication is being able to listen. Don't be just casually listening when others are trying to communicate. When it comes to relationships we hope that we play poker with our cards down and that we both make a good hand. I like this analogy by Dr. Michael Williams professor at BYU-Idaho in Family and Marriage Department. When facing conflict in your families and relationships remember this all conflict is not bad, it's part of growing and figuring out what works what doesn't and what needs to be changed! Don't be afraid of conflict embrace it fix it and move on :)

To get a Divorce or Not to get a Divorce that is the question?

It seems like to today's trend in society is to get divorced. It seems that the decision to get divorced is as easy as deciding what cereal to eat. Now days it doesn't matter for what reason you want to get divorced because if you want to get divorced it shall be granted. In 1970s two states California and New York started the trend of no-fault divorce it's now practiced in all the states. The no-fault divorce is pretty much a law that no proof for divorce is necessary or needed. The reason why they started this law is because they wanted to remove some of the pain and embarrassment from the process of the divorce. This makes it easy for people to get divorce traditionally before the 1970s it was really difficult for anyone to get a divorce. The only reason that people got divorced in the past was because of adultery, chronic serious neglect,and several instances of abuse. Marriage was always viewed as a contract and a covenant. The no-fault divorce has made divorce too easy. In my Family relations I really like what my professor said that marriage is the only contract that can be broken without any real excuse. You can't break any contract in society without getting a penalty and the majority of the time the contract cant' be broken but for marriage it doesn't matter. The most important contract or covenant we make is the easiest one to break. All divorce is caused by selfishness! I think that we need to be more forgiving and less prideful. This is hard to do because sometimes the people we love the most can hurt us the most because we have opened our hearts but we need to fight for our families and to keep the covenant of marriage. So again to get a divorce or not to get a divorce is really not a question! Don't let the no-fault divorce ensnare you into thinking that marriage is not a contract or a sacred covenant.

Demographic Winter

I thought that it was really interesting how the video Demographic Winter talked about how the population is decreasing. I always thought that the population was increasing and never would have thought we need to have more babies because people are not having enough children. Here are a couple of factors that have led to our society's fertility decline.

• Prosperity-industrial revolution children become or are expensive commodities
• Women's revolution -gender equality, more women in the work force, and women have the opportunity to have careers and are preparing careers over family life
• Sexual revolution- Birth control, cohabitation, and ment can get their sexual gratification by not getting married or having babies
• Divorce revolution-divorced is learned and more families are getting divorced, laws are like "No Fault Divorce" make it easier to people to get divorced

These are some of the reasons why society's fertility is declining and I do believe that it's is important for families to have children so that our Human Capital can increase in our society and so that we can leave a heritage or posterity once we die. But most importantly having children bring true joy and happiness and meaning to our lives. What are your feelings about having children? And what are some of the blessings you have received from having children or being in your family?

The reason for my blog

Hi Everyone. I am now officially in the world of blogging. I never thought that I would have a blog. I personally have a hard time keeping a journal and documenting about my life. I feel that I don't have an exciting or interesting life to write about. So blogging will be an adventure to me. In all honesty I'm just not that type of gal who likes others besides friends and family to know about my life. Don't get me wrong I love meeting new people and getting to know others yet I can be pretty private about my life.

 Let me explain now why I started this blog  I want to be a Family and Marriage Therapist. For my Family Relations class we have been given the opportunity to create a blog where we can express and talk about the things we are learning in class or anything that has to do in regards to the Family.

It has taken me years to come to realize how important the family unit is in society and in our own lives. My life hasn't been easy and I came from a dysfunctional family as they call it. For this main reason my desire is to strengthen the home and the family through therapy someday. 

 Maybe you feel that you have come or are in a dysfunctional family. Or maybe you came from a good family or perfect family. Whatever your family circumstance whether good or bad please feel free to share your stories, concerns, comments, questions and the things that have helped you have success in your family.